Nick's Journal
I wanted to touch on something that I think we all struggle with from time to time, a topic that I feel is misunderstood by many, that of Motivation.
As I have gotten older I have begun to feel that many of the things that we label as difficult to understand or derive the origin of can often be best understood as our unconscious assertions. And Motivation certainly falls into this category.
Ask someone where their motivation comes from and they will often rhyme off any number of factors, the majority of which I would actually categorize as willpower or discipline, rather than motivation. There are the common short-term sources, which anyone who has lived a fulsome life is well aware of.
The incredible burst of energy that you receive when you have newly broken up with a loved one. Or the renewal of focus when, rather than achieving your goal or victory you instead fall just short. What you thought was the best you were capable of suddenly pales in comparison to the height you then reach in your second or third attempt. Failure, as it always does, provides far more lessons than success.
Up until now I think many people would agree with this summary. These are not controversial opinions and you would be hard pressed to find people that could not personally attest to them. It is when we start to get beyond these causes that the subject becomes far murkier. What motivates the multi-millionaire who has achieved more financial success than many could ever dream of? Or the Olympic gold medalist in pursuit of their third or fourth medal?
This is when I think the most illuminating sources of motivation can be identified, the ones that are present in the former cases but are more difficult to understand in the latter cases, as we often lack the perspective upon which to judge them.
The common thread that ties these all together in my mind is the Unconscious assertions of which I spoke earlier. Our mind is making dozens, even hundreds, of decisions each and every day. And many of us being to limit those decisions in order to deal with the fatigue and constant uncertainty that would otherwise surround us. Why fight yourself each day over what you’ll have for lunch? Come up with something that is healthy and that you enjoy, and have that every day. A series of decisions is now forever off your list, from the groceries you buy, to the containers you need to hold your lunch, and the lunch itself.
Over and over we do this, making our days routine and our habits repeatable and dependable. When done properly, we begin to live a life that is comfortable in large measure. We’ll have chosen a job that pays well, habits that keep us safe and comfortable, friends that we can rely on. And little by little we will pare out risk and uncertainty, will leave less and less to randomness or chance. And we will also have unwittingly greatly narrowed the outcomes that we can conceivably face both on the downside AND the upside.
That is the tradeoff. You can’t be the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys if you didn’t put in all the effort and steps needed to make that happen. You can’t become the movie star, the musician, or the novelist that you aspired to be when you were young if you spend fifty plus hours a week on a corporate job. The dreams and goals that you set for yourself when you were young, the ones that let you knock down walls and scale mountains, become harder and harder to convince yourself as achievable and with every passing day they will motivate you less.
Does that mean that you can drop everything and do whatever you wish? Certainly not, and if you speak with people that have done that, that have risked it all to pursue their dreams, they will often tell you the same thing. That what they thought they would pursue was not what they ended up pursuing at all. That won’t mean they aren’t happy or successful though. In fact, those who did not hold fast to a strict outcome will almost certainly be the ones more likely to be happy and successful. What they did was they opened themselves up to greater possibilities gain. They let themselves believe the dreams once more.
If you do pursue your dreams, what you will find is that your brain will keep you honest. If you start down a path and it simply is unlikely to obtain the outcomes that you wished, it will nudge you ever so subtly in the direction of the ones that may. You wanted X, but the market wanted Y and you were well positioned to deliver it. And then you decided to pursue Y for a bit, to gain the freedom that you wished.
And before you know it, you are now fully enthralled by Y, your brain sensing that you are pursuing a highly worthwhile opportunity, one with a much higher chance of paying off. You’ll wake up each morning full of energy, finding yourself working hard than you’ve ever worked before. It won’t come from discipline or willpower, in fact it will exist in spite of those things sometimes. It will come from the Unconscious asserting itself, letting you know that it agrees with the path that you are on.
We lie to ourselves in all that we do. We do it to protect our egos, to survive in a world that can be demanding and harsh. We do it to project the image we need to the outside world so that we are not eaten alive. No matter how much we lie though, our Unconscious knows the truth and keeps the score.
So the next time you are feeling unmotivated, consider for a moment if it might not be your mind trying to nudge you in a new direction. One that better aligns you to your real goals and desires, not the ones you portray to others. And, if you are feeling particularly brave, take a few steps in the direction it is nudging. If you do, don’t be surprised if those few steps turn into miles, and that you have traversed that distance in as little time as you ever have. That is what true Motivation unlocks. The real kind, not the kind that is borrowed, or shielding you from pain.
The kind that makes dreams come true.
Much love as always,
Nick